Good morning!

Cade has started to say “Good morning!” to people, no matter what time of day and it is charming every single time. Trying to teach him “afternoon” and evening” has proven to be in vain, and so it’s always morning in his little world. He is also growing out of baby talk so now it’s “monkey” not “monk-monk” and it’s “cookie” and not “cook-cook”. Oh well. I’m really going to miss the baby talk. I told Creighton this morning he needs to decide who he wants to be because soon Cade will know that his peers aren’t calling their fathers “Da-Da” like he does.

I will definitely miss hearing “Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!” since it cracks both of us up. But, out with the old and in with the new.

Meema’s birthday was earlier this week and I took Cade to Aiken to visit her and he had a good time. She cooked fried chicken legs and had fresh watermelon, and all kinds of good things for us. I felt guilty for not cooking for her, but she insisted and said she enjoyed. Win/win!

Last weekend we ended up getting new bicycles. Yes, it was extravagant and not the best use of the money, but we love them. We got a bike trailer for Cade and it was difficult to get him into it, but we did and so far so good. The bikes are very nice and seem to be more suitable exercise for both and me and Creighton since their use is low impact and both of us have knees that could use a break. I’m not saying we ‘re getting old, I’m just sayin’. So yesterday we got up before it was too hot out and went for a ride by the river and it was great. Not too hot, lots of sunshine, and Cade seemed to enjoy running around the dam locks and taking in the scenery.

The 2008 Summer Olympics started this week and I must say I’ve never seen a more spectacular opening ceremony. Literally 1000s of people participated and the technology and color and themes were breathtaking. It certainly made the showing at the Winter Olympics in 2002 seem paltry. I mean really, pilgrims skating on ice? I was so bored I STILL remember it! The bar has definitely been raised by Beijing.

That aside, it’s been fun watching the events here and there. I enjoy the Summer Games much more than the Winter Games since I don’t care very much for watching skiiing, etc.. The gymnasts, cyclists, swimmers, and runners in the Summer Games are some of the most disciplined people ever. Although I am somewhat cynical regarding sports at this level and wonder about doping every time somebody wins a gold medal. Shame.

It’s almost time for football season and the sun will be setting sooner and life will be more quiet overall, until the holidays start. I wish the sun would stay out until 8:00pm year round. Early sun makes me lazier than I am already inclined to be.

In a couple of weeks we’ll get a much needed, and much overdue, vacation. MaMoo and Grandaddy have a place for the family at Kiawah Island and I can’t wait to see Cade on the beach and build sand castles with him. Most of all, I can’t wait to get out of town. A change of scenery is essential to appreciating the scenery you live in day to day.

What else? Oh! We got my turntable back to working properly and have enjoyed playing records and going through my albums and reminiscing about the days of LPs and AOR radio. I wonder if too many choices helps people become more isolated from one another? iPods and MP3s are handy, but it’s not like it was when I was a kid……I’d be in my room with the radio on, reading, daydreaming, whatever, and just wait for the song I wanted to hear to come on. I’d call my friends and ask if they’d heard it and liked it as much as I did. In high school I remember times going out to parties with my friend Wendy and the radio playing and we’d start singing our favorite songs loudly and happily. I feel that thread of connection is gone now and I do feel a little sad.

It’s down to Barack Obama and John McCain and the campaign is underway. Of course I’m pulling for Obama and it will be interesting to see how things go. McCain has already started the attack ads which feel weak and desperate. Though he is a good man, he isn’t the kind of person I want for president. He has no vision, no new ideas, and our country needs a fresh point of view to help us with the things we are facing now, war, poor economy, etc… I feel optimistic about Obama and hope he can get us pointed in the right direction.

Ok, I’m off for now. Time to go grocery shopping and tend to the other affairs of the day.

Love you famblee-

Mama

 

Summertime

I know it’s been awhile since I last posted, but things have been extremely busy. The first order of business it to discuss is Cade’s 2nd birthday! I can’t believe you’re already 2 my sweet boy, but you are. Pretty soon all of that adorable baby talk will be gone and all traces of my baby with it. (well, except for diapers, we’re still not quite ready for toilet training yet)

The birthday party was All-Thomas, all-the-time. I found an awesome Thomas and Friends cake , balloon, streamer, the whole nine! Cade’s grandparents, Tinsley and Jeff, and of course Mama and Dada were presiding over the festivities. There was pizza and Cade was totally psyched to be the center of all that adoration and love.

The 4th of July was uneventful, but July 5th totally rocked since Creighton, Preston, and Josh played at Preston’s party. There was BBQ, beer, good people, and awesome music! Preston won the front page with his shark bite story. Yes shark bite. Preston was swimming in the ocean at Isle of Palms and was actually bitten by a shark. Yes, he’s fine, but it’s an awesome story. Creighton admits he’s a bit jealous that he wasn’t bitten so he can add this to his repertoire of scintillating cocktail chit-chat. And we all know he loves the chit-chat at a cocktail party! This works fine for me since I generally detest small talk and feel ill at ease in situations that require “schmooze.” We had a great time at Preston’s and it was so much fun to see Creighton play with a group again.

Creighton totally smoked all those dudes. Totally.

Betty came over that night and Cade really put on the shine for her. He showed her his train set and showed off for her and was really so happy to see her, and so were we.

Summer is plodding along these days. It’s far too hot to take Cade to the park when I pick him up in the afternoons, and I’ve usually worked up a good sweat just picking him up from daycare and going to grocery store. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still preferable to the sun going down at 5:30pm, but yeah. Hot, hot, hot. I feel bad for Cade because he comes home with me and I immediately set about unloading the car, cleaning up, getting dinner ready, etc, and he wants to play. This is why God made siblings apparently. Cade is undaunted though, and he’ll take my hand and say, “Read, Mama!”. What kind of mother refuses that? The kind that raise future inmates, that’s what kind. So, I stop and read and I love it. Cade cradled in my lap, or tucked sweetly under my arm, saying, “Oh wow, choo-choo!”, like he hasn’t seen that choo-choo 1 million times before.

Ultimately, I am a poor playmate for Cade and I guess I’ll need to start arranging playdates soon. Ugh. At the age of 44 I just want to finish my day’s work and spend time with my family and see friends I’ve known most of life. Those friends, however, do not have any 2 year old children, so I’ll have to….meet….new…people. My hope is that Cade is fast approaching the age where he’ll make friends and I can pick playdates that way, instead of awkwardly scoping out total strangers who may also need a friend for their child. What a weird world. There was no such animal as a playdate when I was a kid. We all went outside and played. That simple. Oh well.

Last weekend we saw Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers and Steve Winwood opened for them. It was a great show. Again, it was blistering hot and this does take it’s toll on folks, but we had a good time. There were a LOT of people there and as the time came for Petty to ply we were inundated with a sea of humanity trying to find a patch of earth to stand on. Creighton took it upon himself to be the sentinel of our spot and it soon turned into work. Alliances were formed, people were turned away, disappointed, but it had to be done! Cade stayed with Mamoo and Granddaddy and he had a great time. As usual, we missed him very much, even for just that night.

Saturday, we visited Creighton’s Great-Aunts Mame and Lila, who were both in the hospital at the same time. What an unfortunate coincidence. They were both in good spirits, though not feeling 100% better after surgeries and serious health issues. They loved seeing Cade and he loved seeing them.

That evening, Derrick and Lorraine came over for dinner and we had mexican food, which was delicious since we rarely eat it much anymore. Then they gave Cade an awesome birthday gift and he charmed Lorraine into reading 3 books to him before bed! I had to put the kibosh on things since she clearly could not resist him and he was well past his bedtime!

We played “Would you rather…?” and basically the answer is, “I’d rather not.” So far I haven’t had to drink out of a cup like a cat (as one of the challenges would have you do), but if we play again, I might not be so lucky.

Sunday was church, and we left feeling good and had a nice lunch after.

And now I am officially caught up! Yay! Nite-nite sweet blog-o-mine.

Mama

 

New kid…part deux.

Ok, we’re into a couple of weeks at the new school, (and yet another bout of a what seems to be allergies or asthma) and there are some changes. For example, Cade no longer tolerates our afternoon errands and grocery store trips. He has decided to start screaming within five minutes of shopping, and then begins squirming in the cart in an attempt to sit sideways, backwards, any way but the safe way. This means I use the seatbelt now and he is decidedly not happy with that.

A chat with his teacher Connie revealed that he is not eating lunch. In truth, I suspected this would happen. Cade is picky and in that phase where he likes only a couple of things and that’s it. I was hoping he would succumb to the peer situation and try new food because the other children were eating it as well. NoooOOOOoooo. So, it looks like we’re back to packing lunches for a little while. This is time consuming, and a guessing game every morning and I really hoped we wouldn’t have to do it, but he has to eat.

Cade is one of the youngest in his class, so he is not developmentally with all of the other kids yet, and he’s not alone, there are a couple of others. So, Connie tells me how to instruct Cade as though we have no idea. I know she meant well, but all I was hearing was, “Your son is a pain in my behind, so get him up to speed with the others.” He won’t sit at the table with the others during meals. She told me that other children dont eat well and some even want to be fed and naturally she and Doris don’t have time to feed 12 toddlers individually. I must admit I was pleased when she said Cade wasn’t one of those, he simply turns his head and refuses the food. (which is what he does at home if we try to feed him, he doesnt like that very much).

So, needless to say, this conversation was disappointing. The main thing that bothered me was that Connie’s face didn’t light up when I asked about Cade. I’m used to Betty and others who love my little Cade and know him well. I wanted Connie to be charmed by Cade and to quickly make him her favorite. She was polite and kind, but it wasn’t the same.

I guess we’re all going through adjustments with the new school.

I came home and Cade was fussy and irritable and I was hot and trying to put away groceries and start dinner. I was feeling discouraged. I told Creighton about everything and we’ll start making lunches again tomorrow.

I returned to my favorite site Baby Center to regroup and see what they had to say about fussy toddlers, squirmy toddlers, loud toddlers, and guess what? It’s normal. That doesn’t make it any less frustrating, but it did make me feel calmer and less insecure about the changes. I think that once a routine is settled and he has time to adjust, these things will iron themselves out.

So, everything is ok after all. Goodnight my little family, I love you guys.

Mama

 

There’s a new kid in town…

No, I’m not pregnant again…I’m just talking about Cade being the new kid at his new school. The first week is over and he seems to be doing well so far. I’ve been able to pick him up early in order to spend time with him and give him a break in so many changes. His class is almost entirely boys and they seem to be a little older than Cade. Many of them can talk in full sentences and choose playmates to play games, rather than just playing next to each other as smaller children do. Cade is quickly approaching all of those things, but not quite there yet.

His new classroom is full of things for small hands and minds to discover. There is a section for playing with all types of animals, figures, a small kitchen at the top of a playset with stairs, puzzles, paper and crayons, tables for books, it’s very nice. In the morning there is Miss Connie and Miss Doris and after nap there is Hannah and Maggie.

They have Water Wednesdays and the children dress in swimsuits and play outdoors with sprinklers and small pools.

He still asks about Betty and Jackson, so well have to arrange a visit soon.

 

Changes.

Tomorrow morning we take Cade to Shandon for an open house at his new daycare. He will start next week and this week is his last at Good Shepherd. While I have my criticisms of GSDS, I must admit they kept Dat Bebbie alive and well, and he loves Betty very much. I’ve been looking forward to having him start at SPCDC, but a part of me is a little worried about his adjustment there and not seeing Betty, Jackson, Ray-Ray, Tria, and Patrice everyday. Friday will be a little sad indeed.

Betty will still be a part of his life if she can and will, as we love her and Cade is very attached to her. She has taught him so much and been such a wonderful influence on him everyday. It will be hard leaving him with new people who don’t know him like Betty, but hopefully he’ll adjust to his new surroundings quickly and enjoy all of the other good things his new school will offer. And I’m sure once everyone gets to know Cade, they’ll love him too.

We’ve already begun talking about his elementary school (and he’s not even two!), because we’re hearing bad things about the school we’re zoned for, and getting in other schools is very difficult.

So many changes. First we had to adjust to daycare, now a new daycare, soon he’ll go to school all day, and eventually (hopefully), college. All of these changes happen so quickly it seems and all mean so much when it’s Cade, and not myself.

I know it’s silly to relate a move to a new daycare to big, life-changing events like college, marriage, children, death. But I can’t help but think about how quickly everything can happen and how we all just move right along with it, like one of those people-movers at airports that move lots of people in the same direction all at the same time.

It stings a little to realize that Cade is another little person on the big people-mover, going through changes beyond his control, like the rest of us. I always imagined him to be a special little spirit, protected by angels, fairies, 4 leaf clovers, and moonbeams. In my heart and mind, he is forever my baby boy, cradled in my arms, safe from all the changes.

 

Thomas the Train must die.

Yes, die. Everything is “Choo-choo!” these days. Cade is in love with this train and the show and I just don’t get it. The trains in the show are big sissies, always whining, complaining, angry, or in Sir Topham Hatt’s case, cross. He is always “cross” and I guess if I spent my life hanging around a train yard in a tuxedo and top hat, I’d be cross too.

Cade wakes up in the morning and it’s “Choo-choo!”. He’ll barely eat breakfast anymore! Creighton has decided to indulge this obsession by first buying an obscene amount of Thomas stuff at Target and then buying even more on E-Bay. It is clear that this train set is his more than Cade’s.

Me? I’m just waiting it out. Biding my time. Cade’s attention span is short. It’s Creighton that I’m more concerned about. I feel our home will be overrun by these trains before it’s all said and done.

Today a Thomas the Train catalog came in the mail and I know Cade didn’t order it. Creighton’s eyes were shiny and bright as he asked, “Have you seen the stuff in here?” GREAT.

I have nobody but myself to blame really. I knew that small boys loved this show. I know how the marketing scams work. Pairing tons of expensive merchandise with children’s programming in order to get deep into the pockets of parents. I swore  I wouldn’t be a sucker for that stuff. I thought Cade was too young to get very interested. I was simply trying to find something to hold his attention so I could give him a breathing treatment the last time he was sick.

It’s too late now,though. Thomas the Train owns both of my guys now and so the only solution is that Thomas the Train must die.

Just watch the show and tell me you disagree.

 

April is the cruellest month.

Not really. But I love T. S. Eliot and at a loss for a title to this entry. So there.

April has actually been an awesome month. We’re on a roll at present for fun weekends, and had two in a row with all kinds of cool things to do. We took Cade to his first outdoor concert event to see Loch Ness Johnny. They play celtic/bluegrass/rock music with old Irish standards and Velvet Underground covers. What’s not to like?

My friend Jessica’s husband plays bass for them, so there were friends there that I don’t see often, and activities for kids. (though Cade was content collecting rocks and charming people with his winning smile) The day started off with a walk by the river and lunch at S&S cafeteria. Is that a perfect day or what?

This weekend we went to the zoo first thing in the morning and it was beautiful and sunny, yet breezy and cool. The animals were up and about and we got there before the boredom of being stared at yet another day had settled in on them. The bears were playing, the seals were swimming, the lions were lazing, you get my drift.

And then all of us hopped on to the carousel for a ride. Cade and I chose a tiger and I must confess that I probably enjoyed it as much as he did. That carousel is the bomb. It moves pretty swiftly and smoothly and the animals are mounted up pretty high so you can see a fair stretch of the zoo as you zoom around. We rode several times of course.

I got a bubble machine for Cade. That thing will blow a million bubbles per second and I’m sure that the next time it rains our front yard will be full of suds. But Cade is so in love with the bubbles and shouts, “BUBBLES!” with such unabashed glee it’s hard not to fill the entire neighborhood with them, just to see him smile.

He stayed with MaMoo and GrandDaddy that night since they’re leaving for India in a couple of days and wanted to spend time with him. They went shopping, hid Easter eggs and had a great time.

We had BBQ, booze, and dominoes with Derrick, Lorraine, and her friend from California, Anne Marie. She was very nice and we all stayed up way too late, but had a good time. Of course Creighton won the game. He is the luckiest person I’ve ever met.

And Cade is more and more able to speak little sentences, ask questions like “What’s that?” and “Where’s Dada?” He is learning his colors and knows yellow and blue quite well, thanks to Betty. She has taught him so much and imagine my surprise last week when I sneezed and he said, “Bwess!” Cade will leave Good Shepherd in June and I will be so sad he won’t have Betty every day, she is so good to him and so good with him.

He is more agile, independent, and assertive now as well. I am surprised almost daily by what he knows and is able to learn. More and more he can repeat and understand a word on the first try and remember it at a later time. It’s beautiful to watch his mind grow.

The race for the Democratic nomination plods along and the voters are almost as weary of it as the candidates. It’s fascinating for sure, but the media saturation as usual, has diluted my interest in it after such a long time of constant talking, without saying anything very new. My hope is that Obama will emerge strongly in the next couple of primaries and sew this thing up. We shall see.

Not that anybody cares much about this but me, but I will note it for myself: I have had some minor success in the shopping department and swore not to buy anything too expensive and haven’t. So, I’m slowly putting together some items that fit, are stylish, and make me feel more presentable in general. I confess I enjoy the compliments I get these days, and I do get them. I still despise shopping, but hey, it has to be done or else the people I know will embarrass me about my craptastic look.

Creighton is still the sunshine and Cade is the sunbeam. All is well.

Love you guys!

 

Did I ever tell you how much I dislike shopping?

I really hate to shop. Whether it’s groceries and deciding what’s for dinner or for a new work outfit, I do not enjoy shopping at all. I don’t think I ever did, though I remember spending a lot of time at the mall with friends back in the day. I guess one thing a young woman knows is that the best way to get out of a small town is to meet people. The best way to meet people is to present yourself somewhat attractively. There it is.

I confess that since Cade’s birth I haven’t bought many clothes. Or should I say, less than usual. I kept hoping to lose more baby weight, but that’s just an excuse for not shopping. The problem is people are starting to notice. I wear too much black, I wear the same things, day in and day out. If I were a man I doubt anybody would care enough to tell me I need to wear color, or give me clothes that don’t suit my style in any way.

I also get the feeling sometimes that people think I don’t shop for clothes because of a self esteem thing. “She must not feel attractive, so she doesn’t buy clothes.”  But that’s not true. I think I’m as healthy as anyone I know in that department, I just don’t like looking for clothes. The music in stores, mall culture, salespeople, searching, trying things on, sizing things up, imagining what people might think, is it really my style, will it need altering, do I have time to do that, how much will it cost…. What’s to like about any of that? I couldn’t care less. (which is why I do the minimum to get by) So far, it’s been worth it to avoid shopping, except that now my wardrobe is almost embarrassing.

I had an english professor in college who had a terrible comb-over, seriously unflattering wire rimmed glasses, and he wore the same thing to class every Tuesday and Thursday: dark green polyester pants with a light green rayon shirt. I’m not sure what the thought process for that particular combination was, but he wore it faithfully and shamelessly for at least one semester. He also drove a red Miata, (a new car for that time and very hot), had excellent taste in music of all kinds and brought speakers and records to class share with us, and a penchant for post-modern literature. Go figure.

My situation is reaching crisis mode. I literally do not have anything to wear to work 2-3 days a week and winging it is not working for me. I also went to visit my friend Wendy who was in Aiken from Richmond over Easter holiday and I am sure I did not impress. She was sitting there with a very flattering and expensive haircut, and an effortlessly adorable outfit she’d worn to lunch with family. Me? I’m sitting there in my usual: somewhat faded black t-shirt which doesn’t fit well enough anyway, jeans, sneakers. When I thought about what I might’ve worn instead, I came up with nothing.

So, when Cade napped this weekend I decided to go shopping. I was determined to get one work outfit. The mall was jam packed with humanity. The stores were loud, crowded, disorganized. I quickly became overstimulated and overwhelmed with choices and options. If I liked a shirt, the skirt was not a good cut for me, if I liked a dress, it costed $100 more than I could spend, if I liked a suit, it was plain to me that my job does not require that level of costume.

I caved quickly and lowered my expectations: I’ll find the perfect white shirt for summer. It should be feminine, flattering, and look good with pants or a skirt. I am not ashamed to tell you that I failed in that task as well, and that brought me to tears. Tears! What a wuss! (I did at least wait until I was in the car to crack) It was disappointing, frustrating, sad. I wasted the little free time I had in a mall.

Creighton insisted I buy something and was very sweet about it. (I’m sure that secretly he is tired of the black and the sweatpants I’m wearing as I type this) So I went out again today, and still didn’t find anything. I take that back: I did find one thing. A book. “The ‘Lucky’ shopping manual: building and improving your wardrobe piece by piece”.

It’s a start.

 

The Sound and the Fury.

I now know what a grenade must feel like when the pin is pulled. That sudden rush of energy and combustion and power is what I felt yesterday at the playground. Yes, the playground. I took Cade to Heathwood park. It was sunny and warm and I thought it’d be nice for him to get outside and explore and play.

The park was jam packed with kids and this can be good and bad. Cade loved looking at all of the different people, checking it out, waving, smiling, running. Two little girls see-sawed with him. We did the swing. It was great.

Then he started climbing on the jungle gym made for the little kids. He managed to climb through the tunnel and propel himself down the slide alone for the first time! “Wheeeeeeeeeee!” he said on the way down. My Squinchy.

Other kids, big and small, were climbing all over the thing and then suddenly it got a bit later and we had it to ourselves. He climbed into the tunnel and sat at the top grinning and checking out the scene. He stuck his hands through the holes in the tunnel and waved at kids running by, “Hi!”.

So, I’m standing at the bottom of the slide waiting to catch him when a little girl of about 8 starts crawling through the tunnel towards the slide. As I’m talking to Cade I saw her reach over and pinch him hard on the arm, twisting his skin. Of course he let out a loud howl and tears ran down his little face.

What would you do? Of course her mother wasn’t around and in fact, the playground scene is very cliquish and most parents get into deeply self absorbed conversations while the others of us outside these cliques act as the police to these kids. Whether is was right or not, I was so outraged I told her, “Don’t you ever lay your hands on my child or pinch him like that!” She was shocked. She lied, “He did it!” I guess a more reasonable person would’ve calmed down and searched out her mother, but Cade was screaming and the lie made me angrier. I told her, “Shame on you. It’s not nice to lie either.” And with that we left.

She drew blood on his little arm and left bright red marks which will bruise. When he gets into scuffles with his toddler friends, it’s not infuriating, but frustrating. This girl was a bully and a brat hurting a little toddler like Cade. It made me wonder about a child who would so brazenly hurt another while his mother is right there. In short, it was shocking.

Kaboom.

 

Just in case…

Cade, if you ever find yourself wondering what it’s all about and feel like nothing matters, here’s what I suggest you do: put yourself in service to others. Yes, I make lots of mistakes and at about the age of 11 or 12 you’ll decide I’m a total idiot until you turn about 50. (if you ever change your mind at all) Part of the process of becoming independent must be thinking your parents are morons because “Rebel Without a Cause”, “Blackboard Jungle”, and “Catcher in the Rye” touched the deepest recesses of adults and teens alike. (for me, especially “Catcher in the Rye”)

But what I say still stands. If you’re rich then please volunteer your time and resources to a cause that touches whatever matters to you. Or you can choose a profession that allows you to help others, nurse, doctor, social worker, waiter, whatever.

I’m not going to go into a lengthy dissertation here as to why this will help you make sense of the world, it is my goal to teach this to you as you grow. I hope I can.

All I can say is that when you serve others you’re serving yourself and the world, and your spirit will know this and feel satisfied.

When you insulate yourself from others and look outside for what will satisfy the inside, you’ll always feel incomplete.  Things do not matter.

I love you my sweet little Cade.

Mama